Cushion Words (クッション言葉): The Ultimate Communication Weapon in Japan

Hello everyone,

After over 10 years in Japan, I've realized one of the biggest differences in communication between Japanese and Vietnamese people isn't just in keigo, but in how they "start" a conversation, especially when they want to ask a favor, refuse, or give feedback. That's クッション言葉 (Kusshon Kotoba), or as I'll call it, "Cushion Words".

These aren't empty phrases, but an art of expressing subtlety and respect for the other person. Master this, and you'll find that communication, especially at work, becomes a lot "easier to breathe"! 😉

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🤔 What are "Cushion Words"?

As the name suggests, these are phrases placed at the beginning of a sentence that act like a "cushion," reducing the abruptness, pressure, or discomfort for the listener when you're about to say something "difficult."

It shows that: "I know what I'm about to say/ask might bother you, and I feel bad about that." 🛡️

🎯 When to use "Cushion Words"? Let's break it down by situation!

1. When asking for a favor or making a request (お願いする時)

Instead of saying directly: 「これ、お願いします。」(Please do this.), add a cushion layer to show you value the listener's time and effort.

• 恐れ入りますが (Osoreirimasu ga...): Use when asking a superior or customer. Extremely polite.

  Example: 恐れ入りますが、こちらの書類にご記入いただけますでしょうか。 (I'm sorry to trouble you, but could you please fill out this document?)

• お手数ですが (Otesuu desu ga...): Use when you know your request will be troublesome or take effort. Very common in the workplace.

  Example: お手数ですが、ご確認のほど、よろしくお願いいたします。 (I know it's a bother, but please confirm this for me.)

• もしよろしければ (Moshi yoroshikereba...): Has a softer nuance, "if it's alright with you...". Friendlier than the two above, can be used with colleagues.

  Example: もしよろしければ、この仕事を手伝っていただけませんか。 (If you don't mind, could you help me with this task?)

2. When refusing (断る時)

Refusing directly is a big no-no. "Cushion words" help you maintain harmony and express your regret.

• せっかくですが (Sekkaku desu ga...): Use when someone has gone to the trouble of inviting you or making an offer. It means "You went through the trouble of inviting me, but...", showing appreciation before refusing.

  Example: せっかくのお誘いですが、その日は予定がありまして…。 (Thank you for the kind invitation, but I have plans on that day...)

• 大変申し上げにくいのですが (Taihen moushiage nikui no desu ga...): "It's very difficult for me to say this, but..." Used in formal situations, when you have to refuse an important offer.

  Example: 大変申し上げにくいのですが、今回は見送らせていただければと存じます。 (It's very difficult for me to say this, but we would like to decline this time.)

3. When asking, confirming, or giving feedback (質問・意見を言う時)

When you want to ask something that the other person might not want to answer, or give a conflicting opinion, "cushion words" help the sentence sound less interrogative or aggressive.

• 失礼ですが (Shitsurei desu ga...): "Excuse me, but..." Often used before asking personal questions like name, age, or when interrupting someone.

  Example: 失礼ですが、お名前を伺ってもよろしいでしょうか。 (Excuse me, may I ask your name?)

• おっしゃることは分かりますが (Ossharu koto wa wakarimasu ga...): "I understand what you're saying, but..." This is a very skillful way to object. You show agreement first, then present your own point of view.

  Example: おっしゃることは分かりますが、こちらの案のほうが現実的かと思います。 (I understand what you're saying, but I think this proposal is more realistic.)

✨ A tip from someone who's been there

Don't overuse "Cushion Words" with very close friends, or you'll sound distant and formal. However, in the Japanese workplace, this is almost a mandatory skill.

Mastering クッション言葉 will not only make you speak better Japanese, but it will also get you evaluated as a skillful, subtle, and easy-to-work-with person.

Good luck with your communication! 🚀