'Taihen desu ne' - An Encouragement Worth a Thousand 'Ganbatte's

You've probably read an article about not overusing 'Ganbatte' (頑張って). That's an extremely important discovery that only those who have lived and worked in Japan for a long time can truly appreciate. So the question is: If you don't say 'Ganbatte,' what should you say? 🤔

The most subtle and 'Japanese' answer in many cases is 'Taihen desu ne' (大変ですね).

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Why is 'Taihen desu ne' so effective?

While 'Ganbatte' can sound a bit like an 'order,' pushing the listener to try harder (even when they are already exhausted), 'Taihen desu ne' does the opposite. It means:

• 'I see your struggle.'
• 'I acknowledge the effort you are putting in.'
• 'I understand your difficult situation.'

In other words, 'Taihen desu ne' is EMPATHY (共感), while 'Ganbatte' is ENCOURAGEMENT (激励). In many situations, people need empathy more than a push.

The 'Golden' Situations to Use 'Taihen desu ne'

Let's see how it turns you into a master of subtle communication:

1. When a colleague is 'drowning' in deadlines 🏃💨

• Not so good ❌: 「締め切り、頑張ってね！」 (Good luck with the deadline!) -> Can sound a bit careless, even like you're rushing them.
• Better to use ✅: 「うわー、明日締め切りですか。大変ですね！」 (Wow, the deadline is tomorrow? That must be tough!) -> This sentence immediately shows that you understand they are in a difficult situation. If you want to 'score' more points, you can add: 「何か手伝えることありますか？」 (Is there anything I can help with?).

2. When a friend or acquaintance tells you about a personal difficulty 😥

For example, they have to take care of a sick family member, or they're having trouble with paperwork.

• Not so good ❌: 「大変だけど、頑張って！」 (It's tough, but hang in there!) -> They are already trying their best every day, this might make them feel more tired.
• Better to use ✅: 「そうだったんだ…。それは大変だね。」 (I see... That must be really tough.) -> Just acknowledging their hardship like this is a great comfort. Silent listening and a word of empathy are more valuable than a thousand 'hang in there's.

3. When you see someone has just completed a complex, detailed task ✨

• Better to use ✅: 「この資料、全部一人で作ったんですか。大変でしたね！」 (This document, you made it all by yourself? It must have been a lot of work!) -> Use the past tense (大変でしたね) to acknowledge the effort they HAVE put in. This is a very effective indirect compliment.

Conclusion

Add the magic phrase 'Taihen desu ne' to your communication arsenal right away. It shows that you are not only good at Japanese, but also have high emotional intelligence (EQ), the ability to 'read the air,' and understand others.

One less 'Ganbatte,' one more 'Taihen desu ne,' and you'll find your relationships in Japan becoming much closer and more sincere! 👍