「とんでもないです」: When 'You're welcome' Isn't Enough

You've just gone out of your way to help someone, and they're thanking you profusely. Or perhaps your boss is praising you for an outstanding achievement. What's your first reaction? いえいえ (ieie)? That's fine, but there's a much more powerful 'weapon' to express humility sincerely and strongly: 「とんでもないです」 ✨

With 10 years of experience in Japan, I've realized this is one of the most subtle 'point-scoring' phrases that not everyone fully grasps its nuances.

What does 「とんでもない」mean?

Basically, 「とんでもないです」(tondemonai desu) means "not at all," "absolutely not," "don't mention it." It's a very strong way of denying, but in communication, it carries super humble nuances.

Let's look at the 3 'golden' cases to use this phrase!

1. When being THANKED 🙏

When someone thanks you profusely, especially when you've done them a big favor, using 「とんでもないです」 shows that "What I did isn't worthy of so much thanks."

Example:

Colleague: 「先日は本当に助かりました。ありがとうございます！」 (Thank you so much for your help the other day!)

You: 「いえいえ、とんでもないです。お役に立ててよかったです。」 (Not at all, don't mention it. I'm glad I could help.)

Here, とんでもないです is much stronger than いえいえ, expressing your humility and sincerity.

2. When being PRAISED 🏆

This is the most common use. When you receive a compliment, especially from a superior or an elder, 「とんでもないです」 is a much more humble and polite way of denying it than 「そんなことないです」.

Example:

Boss: 「君のプレゼン、素晴らしかったよ！」 (Your presentation was excellent!)

You: 「とんでもないです！まだまだ勉強中です。」 (By no means! I'm still learning.)

It implicitly says: "Your praise is too much for me."

3. When someone APOLOGIZES 🙇

When someone apologizes to you for something you think is no big deal, use 「とんでもないです」 to reassure them, "Oh my, please don't apologize, it's nothing at all."

Example:

Friend: 「ごめん、ちょっと遅れちゃった！」 (Sorry, I'm a little late!)

You: 「とんでもないよ、私も今来たところだから気にしないで。」 (It's nothing at all, I just got here myself, so don't worry about it.)

✨ A Tip to Keep

• いえいえ: Gentle, casual, used for small, everyday thanks/apologies.
• とんでもないです: More polite, formal, and stronger. Use it when you really want to emphasize your humility or when the other person is being overly formal in their thanks/apology.

So, next time you're in one of these situations, try leveling up your subtlety with とんでもないです! It's one of the most powerful 'point-scoring' phrases in Japanese communication. 😉