ドン引き (Donbiki): When a 'tacky' action makes everyone's 'mood drop'

Surely everyone has witnessed or (oh no! 🥶) been the cause of an embarrassing moment: In the middle of a fun party, you tell a joke and... no one laughs. Instead, there's an awkward silence, a few glances away.

Congratulations, you've just created a classic「ドン引き」situation! 😅

🔎 What is「ドン引き」?

ドン引き (donbiki) is a super realistic word, used to describe the state when the excitement and fun of a group of people are suddenly extinguished, 'pulled down' (引き) forcefully (ドン) by someone's 'out of place' or 'tacky' remark or action.

It's not just 'not fun' or 'boring,' but a feeling of a collective 'mood drop,' an awkwardness that envelops the entire atmosphere.

🧐 When do you cause a「ドン引き」?

These are the most common 'landmines' you should avoid if you don't want to be the 'culprit':

• Excessive bragging (自慢話 - Jimanbanashi): Boasting too much about achievements, money, or a partner.

  🗣️ 「彼の延々と続く自慢話には、正直ドン引きした。」(Honestly, his endless bragging story really brought the mood down.)

• Dirty jokes at the wrong time (下ネタ - Shimoneta): Joking about sensitive topics when the atmosphere is not appropriate or when someone is uncomfortable.

  🗣️ 「初対面でいきなり下ネタを言うなんて、ドン引きだよ。」(Telling dirty jokes right after meeting someone for the first time is such a turn-off.)

• Tasteless judgment or criticism: Making negative comments, judging someone's appearance or hobbies.

  🗣️ 「え、人の好きなものを『くだらない』とか言う？ちょっとドン引きなんだけど…」(Huh, you call what someone likes 'pointless'? That's a bit of a mood killer...)

• Weird, over-the-top actions: Excessive public displays of affection, or 'cringey' jokes that no one appreciates.

✨「ドン引き」vs「空気が読めない (KY)」

If 空気が読めない (KY) (can't read the room) is the cause (not knowing how to read the situation), then ドン引き is the consequence (making others' mood drop).

A KY person will often be an 'expert' at creating ドン引き moments. Realizing 'Ah, this is a ドン引き' is an important step to 'reading the room' better.

Understanding this word not only helps you avoid 'cringey' situations, but also helps you better understand the invisible but extremely important rules of conduct in Japanese society. 😉