The Art of 'Compartmentalizing': Unlocking the Power of「それはそれ、これはこれ」

You've lived in Japan long enough to notice something: Japanese people have a superpower for compartmentalizing. They can be your best friend at the izakaya last night, but this morning in a meeting, they'll be the one to point out a flaw in your plan most directly. They can deeply appreciate your effort, yet still coldly judge the result as "not meeting the standard."

Many foreigners initially feel shocked, even hurt. "How can they be so friendly yesterday and so harsh today?" "I tried so hard, and it's not even acknowledged?"

Welcome to the world of 「それはそれ、これはこれ」 (Sore wa sore, kore wa kore) – one of the foundational philosophies and a sharp mental tool that helps Japanese people navigate the complexities of social relationships. This isn't just a phrase; it's an art form for keeping things clear, fair, and untangled from personal emotions. 🧠

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🧐 "That is that, this is this" - More than a Literal Translation

Literally, 「それはそれ、これはこれ」 means "That is that, this is this." It sounds simple and a bit... obvious, right? But its power lies in the philosophy behind it: The Art of Compartmentalization.

It's a declaration that two issues, however related they may seem, are in fact separate entities and must be considered independently. It's a mental firewall that prevents emotions from issue A from "spreading" to the evaluation of issue B.

In a society that highly values harmony (和 - Wa), this phrase is a paradoxical but essential tool. It allows people to give direct feedback and make difficult decisions without destroying the overall relationship. It's like a surgeon saying, "I care for this patient deeply, but this tumor must be removed."

🚀 Prime Situations to Use 「それはそれ、これはこれ」

Let's see how this philosophy works in practice. It appears everywhere, from the office to personal relationships.

1. At the Workplace 🏢: Separating Effort from Results

This is where you'll hear it the most. Your boss might say:

「君がこのプロジェクトに時間をかけたのは知っている。それはそれとして、結果が目標に達していないのは事実だ。これはこれで、どう改善するか考えよう。」 (I know you spent a lot of time on this project. That being said, the fact is the result didn't meet the target. This is a separate matter, so let's think about how to improve it.)

• Analysis: This statement acknowledges your effort (the「それはそれ」part), making you feel recognized. But it immediately draws a clear line that effort does not equal a good result (the「これはこれ」part). It prevents you from feeling personally attacked and shifts the conversation toward constructive problem-solving.

2. With Friends 👫: Separating Friendship from Accountability

Imagine your close friend borrows money from you, promising to pay you back next week, but then goes silent.

「俺たち、友達だよな。それはそれ。でも、お金の約束はちゃんと守ってほしい。これはこれだから。」 (We're friends, right? That's one thing. But I need you to keep your promise about the money. This is a separate issue.)

• Analysis: This phrase affirms that the friendship is still intact and valued. But it also emphasizes that the financial agreement is a separate contract that needs to be honored. It helps you assert your rights without having to end the friendship.

3. In Arguments 🗣️: Preventing Deflection

You're debating a travel plan (Issue A). Suddenly, the other person brings up something annoying you did last week (Issue B) as a weapon.

「先週の件はあとで話そう。それはそれ、これはこれ。今は旅行の計画を決めることに集中しない？」 (Let's talk about last week's issue later. That's that, this is this. Right now, can we focus on deciding the travel plan?)

• Analysis: This is an incredibly effective way to keep a discussion on track. You're not ignoring their issue; you're simply "packaging" it and setting it aside to deal with the immediate problem first. It prevents an argument from escalating and going nowhere.

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✨ How to Use It Like a Pro

Using「それはそれ、これはこれ」isn't just about uttering the words; it's about embodying an attitude.

1. Maintain a calm, neutral tone: The phrase works best when delivered clearly and logically, without anger or blame. Remember, you're separating issues, not attacking a person.
2. The power of acknowledgment: The「それはそれ」part is crucial. It shows that you have listened to and acknowledged the other person's point/feeling/effort. Without this validation, the「これはこれ」part becomes harsh and ineffective.
3. Add cushioning words for smoothness: Sometimes, to lessen the rigidity, Japanese people add words like「として」. For example:「それはそれとして…」 (Setting that aside...). It makes the transition between the two issues feel softer.

Conclusion: More Than a Phrase, It's a Life Skill

「それはそれ、これはこれ」is not a tool for being cold or unfeeling. On the contrary, it's a sophisticated communication skill that protects relationships from temporary negative emotions and unnecessary misunderstandings.

It teaches us that we can disagree on a specific issue without disrespecting each other. We can be disappointed by an action, but that doesn't erase all the other good things.

Next time you find yourself in a tricky situation where business and personal matters, or logic and emotion, are intertwined, try taking a deep breath and applying this philosophy. You'll find that everything becomes clearer and much easier to resolve. That's the power of putting everything in its proper box. 📦